The Getting Real practices help us free ourselves from the fears and limited thinking of the ego-mind, so we can meet each new moment with our open, authentic, loving presence.
Personal Update from Susan
My 80th birthday is in a few months, and this has me thinking about how I use my time. I have been actively engaged in coaching, training coaches, consulting, writing, and speaking since 1967…except for a couple of long mid-career sabbaticals.
I am looking at “what are the developmental tasks of this final stage of life?….If I work less, and open up more unscheduled time, what might I discover about myself and about life?” So, motivated by these questions, I will be taking a summer break from teaching and from the free monthly group calls. These will resume in September. I will still be doing private coaching and one-on-one mentoring/supervision with coaches–but no classes/webinars till September.
I just finished a new book that will be published in late August of this year by New World Library. The title is, “From Triggered to Tranquil: How Self-Compassion and Mindful Presence Can Transform Relationship Conflicts and Heal Childhood Wounds.” I plan to set up some podcast appearances to help promote the book. If you know anyone who hosts a popular podcast, please send me their contact information or recommend me to them.
The book shows how the experience of getting triggered can be a pathway to deeper self-knowledge, self-compassion, and emotional and spiritual wisdom. It guides the reader in how to do “trigger work”– the inner work of working with emotional reactivity to heal long-standing trauma and early childhood wounding. The book is organized around five steps, or developmental tasks, showing the reader how to get from feeling at the mercy of their triggers to feeling mastery over them. Some chapter titles are: I’m triggered with my intimate partner, I’m triggered by my kid, I’m triggered by a friend, I’m triggered in a group or meeting, I’m leading a group and someone gets triggered, I’m triggered by the world situation.
Upcoming Events
Getting Real: The Power of Conscious Communication
A weekend in-person workshop with Susan CampbellMay 7-8, 2022 10am-5pm both days (yes, 2022. I am only doing one in-person workshop per year now)
Cost: $350
“You can only be as honest as you are self-aware.”
GETTING REAL teaches 10 truth skills that make you a more present, aware, spontaneous, authentic communicator. Most people have fears and insecurities which interfere with being fully present and honest. These insecurities can be healed. If you learn to put your attention on your here-now experience, rather than trying to control the outcome of your communications, you discover the real source of personal power, love, and inner security.
In this workshop, you will learn how to:
• communicate with presence, authenticity, and spontaneity (even when you feel fear about it)
• be aware of how you impact others
• clear the air and keep it clear
• repair rifts in trust and connection after a misunderstanding
• keep your present relationships free of accumulated unfinished business
• come back to being present after your fear-buttons have gotten pushed
• communicate from the deepest parts of yourself—so you can be truly heard and accepted
• notice and free yourself of all the ways you “go on automatic” as you communicate or listen
• replace these “control patterns” with honest, spontaneous self-expression
• recognize all the various disguises that mask the “need to control”
• ask for what you want without being controlling
• say “no” or mark your boundaries with compassion and sensitivity
• embrace and value the silences in human communication
• heal past trauma and unprocessed pain
• communicate about difficult topics in ways that foster deep intimacy and trust
The workshop is intended for people who want to join with like-minded others to explore honesty as a spiritual awareness practice, getting to the essential self that is beyond conditioned fears, beliefs, and control patterns. Emphasis will be on developing communication skills and relationship practices that you can take home and integrate into your daily life.
Cost: $350
Time/date: May 7-8, 2022 (Sat-Sun), 10am-5pm both days
Location: Sebastopol, CA, one hour north of San Francisco (directions to follow registration)
REGISTER NOW: Call Susan’s landline, (707) 829-3646 or email: drsusan@susancampbell.com
Led by: Psychologist Susan Campbell has worked as a relationship coach for over 50 years. A former professor at the University of Massachusetts, she is author of 11 books on relationships and communication. Her website is www.susancampbell.com
Coach Training Webinar: Helping Clients Work with Trigger Reactions and Control Patterns (via Zoom)
A 6-week webinar for new and experienced coaches with Susan Campbell, Ph.D., author of GETTING REAL and other titles, using Zoom
Time: 6 consecutive Thursdays, beginning Thursday, September 16, 2021, noon-1:30 pm Pacific time (3-4:30 pm Eastern time), and ending October 21.
Cost: $300 (visa, paypal, transferwise, and mastercard accepted)
To register or get more info, call or email Susan’s landline at (707) 829-3646 or drsusan@susancampbell.com
Content/Goals:
You will learn and practice how to help clients learn to use Susan’s getting real truth skills and trigger work skills. Specifically, you will learn how to:
-create a safe container that welcomes emotional pain as a portal to discovering one’s lost or disowned parts;
-help clients develop their ability to be with emotional discomfort in a way that fosters healing trigger sensitivities and trauma
-work skillfully with resistance
-work skillfully with your most challenging clients
-teach exercises that stretch clients’ capacity for self-compassion
–teach practices that help clients heal unfinished emotional business
–teach practices that help clients develop their capacity for inner witnessing
-use your own authentic feelings and responses in helpful ways—thus, refining yourself as an instrument for positive change
You will be given homework assignments to practice with a homework partner on a separate call during the week. This will require an additional hour per week of your time.
All calls will be recorded and archived on the web, so you can re-listen to calls or hear a call if you have to miss a session.
Honesty Salon in Webinar Format
Beginning September 15, I will offer a six-session Honesty Salon in webinar format (zoom). It is scheduled for 6 consecutive Wednesdays, noon-1:15 pm Pacific time, and ending October 20.
Cost is $200 for the 6 sessions. An Honesty Salon is a small group experience where we practice the 10 Truth Skills with one another, sharing whatever arises in the present moment. We use a set of simple communication guidelines that assist us in un-hooking from identification with mind chatter and being innocently open to whatever arises.
Between sessions, participants will have the option of meeting in dyads or triads to de-brief and do practice exercises. All sessions will be recorded and archived on a private page, so if you miss a session, the recording will be available to you.
To register or get more information, email me at drsusan@susancampbell.com If you are interested in this offering, and the announced time is not convenient, I may be able to change the time. So please contact me about that at the email address above.
The 10 Truth Skills You Need to Live Authentically
Here is a summary of the 10 truth skills detailed in the book, Getting Real. For those of you familiar with my latest book, Five-Minute Relationship Repair, you may see that that entire book is about truth skill #6, Taking Back Projections. This is such a complex and often difficult-to-master truth skill. So I thought it deserved a whole book. 
Now here’s the list:
1. Experiencing what is You have a felt body-based sense of your present feelings and sensations. You can notice and not identify with your judgments, projections, and interpretations.
2. Being transparent You can disclose to others what you are feeling, sensing, imagining, or saying to yourself—with the simple aim of “knowing and being known,” free of the need to explain or defend.
3. Knowing your intent You can consciously reflect on the intent of your communication. Is it to relate or to control? Are you revealing yourself in the interest of transparency or are you managing and strategizing in order to avoid discomfort?
4. Asserting what you want and don’t want You can express a desire clearly and impactfully, without expecting to get everything you ask for. You mark boundaries when you need to.
5. Thriving on feedback You are open and curious about others’ impressions and reactions to you. This is different from being dependent on others’ reactions.
6. Taking back projections You know how to learn from situations where your buttons or “favorite fears” get triggered. You can differentiate your fear-stories from what really happened.
7. Revising an earlier statement You can re-visit an interaction if your feelings change or if you discover later that you have mis-spoken or were on automatic. You can say, “If I had it to do over….”
8. Holding differences You can hear and empathize with someone else’s feeling or viewpoint while at the same time holding a different feeling or viewpoint. You can “be with” the tension of holding both in your awareness at once.
9. Sharing mixed emotions You can communicate your multiple feelings about an issue or situation, e.g. You may wish to clear the air with someone while also fearing that your words might feel hurtful to the other.
10. Embracing silence You can allow some space after you have spoken. You do not fill in the space with explanation or justification. You can experience the nonverbal emanations in the silences during a conversation. You can tolerate uncertainty, ambiguity, not knowing.
Practicing these skills brings you to a deep and abiding sense of serenity, presence, and compassion. These three words that describe the qualities that we begin to embody when we practice Getting Real.