By Susan Campbell, Ph.D.
Foreword by John Bradshaw
Have you ever:
- not told your spouse how you really felt about that expensive purchase?
- gotten triggered when Mom started in on you … again?
- heard what Dad said but couldn’t figure out how to disagree without causing WWIII at the dinner table?
- fibbed to protect someone’s feelings?
- bitten your tongue just to avoid a conflict?
Most likely the answer is yes. These are all pretty common daily experiences that boil down to the knotty problem of human communication. There’s hope — there IS a way to deal effectively and truthfully with uncomfortable situations and strengthen the relationship in the process.
According to Dr. Campbell, 90% of all human communication comes from the usually unconscious intent to control. Most of us don’t know when we are trying to control or simply talking to exchange feelings or information. In Saying What’s Real, Campbell differentiates between the two with 7 key phrases to help you relate with more awareness and presence.
The key to good communication is staying present in the moment. Learning to use such phrases as “Hearing you say that, I feel…” and “I hear you, and I have a different perspective” allows readers to clearly express themselves and remain present versus trying to control the future outcome. By relating more and controlling less, readers will see their communications take on a quality of caring, openness, and authenticity that naturally engenders respect and love from those they’re close to.
This book de-mystifies the process of being completely honest by introducing seven simple phrases that immediately bring your interactions into present time. Instead of getting caught up in old communication patterns (such as the need to justify, explain, or impress), the seven keys will make it easy to say what you really feel, think, and want with clarity and presence. This book is a primer for becoming a more conscious, courageous, and loving human being.